My Reading vs reading the encyclopedia

I sometimes fantasize about annotating everything I read - especially so when I am in a period where (as now) I am soaking up information at a pretty intense rate. About this fantasy for a moment…

What, you still haven't read me?
Get crackin'!

During my analysis, a story from my childhood, replete with paternal demand and thus Oedipal dynamics a'plenty, emerged at one point and it came back up now and then at moments that felt significant. Here is how it went. My dad knew these other folks, a family, he'd done some kind of work for them I think and my dad liked the other dad - they played tennis. The kids were boy and girl and both in high school, I was in late elementary. The parents of these teens talked to my dad and I about how amazingly smart their teens were, how well they did in school, etc. These parents - and the teens who were present at the time - attributed how smart they were and how well they did in school to each having very diligently read an entire set of Encyclopedia Britainica. Seemingly instantly, an entire set of the regular Britainica and the Britainica Junior arrived at our house. For the next few years I dreaded when my father would next ask me how many volumes of the Britainica Jr. I had read yet. Some years later, when I was a high school student myself, he began demanding that I read the regular "grown up" Encyclopedia Britainica, advising me on how much better all things related to school would be if I did, of course noting that I would have learned so much more already if I had read the Jr. when I was younger, but it was not too late, especially if I gave up reading those stupid science fiction books (I believe I was reading Delaney's Dhalgren at one of these moments with great secret glee and excitement). I am perhaps making this sound somewhat funny. It is in hindsight I guess. At the time this was often enough one aspect of a power dynamic utterly brutal in its hegemonic hold on the household, but whatever. I never could imagine back then that reading the entire Encyclopedia Britainica was even possible, much less that I myself would ever do so. Now I recognize that it is surely possible, though it looks amazingly dull to me and I have no illusions that it makes anyone smarter to read encyclopedias. But of course I really do! Otherwise I wouldn't have the fantasy at all, I wouldn't own The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud (in 24 volumes!). &….

Google -> Image:
"The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud"
and this still from Rey Parla film came up.

I wouldn't dream of somehow processing, digesting, and writing about, everything that I read that I find fascinating. Another way of saying this is that the unspoken demand that the repressed master makes in the Discourse of the University (per Lacan in Seminar XVII), that everyone, endlessly, obsessively Keep On Knowing More and More, can, at times, given the background above (and other stuff I could include) make of that very impossible demand itself, a lure for my ego, an enticement, something desirable... 

This too came up with the same search that found the film still,
perhaps I could joke that google image searching performs
the same function as the fantasy that I am discussing? in that
searching for Freud's SE, I get a film still that appeals to me as art
and a photo of a beautiful young woman, this would be
the impossible demand presenting itself as desirable
through the mechanism, the automaton of language(s)
. . . or maybe it's just an excuse to post babe pics?

But whatever, I'm more self-aware than that aren't I? I can take up a different stance with regard to the incessant push of that desire.

Well, then - take that stupid fantasy! 

I will now begin making utterly cursory references to books that while I did read them, I haven't rewritten them with a third book of my commentary to prove to the Superego that I know, am and have all that they contain! 

Google -> Image: Superego (all kinds of fun stuff shows up)

SUPEREGO says: hmph. you have escaped nothing!

Inner Analyst Voice says:  "...prove..." (and it might have been a question but might not have been...)